Week 2. Control

Harping on a thought from last week, sometimes goal-chasing is simply not the best idea. Let me walk you through this idea. There are times in life when we feel on top of it all and that we can do anything we put our minds to. In those times we tend to create grand plans, vision boards, we imagine how we are going to climb that mountain, run that marathon, finish that big project. If all the other chips fall accordingly, we do reach those goals, with some resistance maybe, possibly with corrections and rearrangements but we do what we set out to do. At those times it seems that we’re in control of our lives, that we can alter the trajectory it takes and that everything goes by the law of cause and effect. Then we think that we can achieve even bigger goals, climb higher, run further, until we can’t. Until we put all of our effort, energy, the same amount or more hard work and we don’t get the results we were used to getting. It seems then that we just need to try harder, push more, and we do just that but the results we get are even worse than before. We might think then “well that’s not right. I put in more, so I should get back more. What happened with that cause and effect thing?”. At times like right now, it seems that life itself is teaching us a thing or two about control. As humans we tend to think that we are the smartest species around here and that we’ve got everything figured out but we also tend to forget that we coexist with other species, that we actually live in nature and are part of it, on top of living on a spinning rock in the Universe. My point is, there’s not a lot we’re actually in control of. So sometimes the goals we set can go against the grain of the whole bigger picture we are in. That’s why no matter what we would do and how hard we would try to attain that thing we set ourselves to attain, it’s just not conducive to the environment at that time. For example, if we were to plan a picnic, envision it being on the green grass next to a tree with sunbeams peeking through the leaves and we’re determined to make it happen right away but if it’s hailing in tennis ball size ice rocks outside, no matter how bad we want the picnic, it’s just not going to happen. The environment is not right for it and no matter the amount of pressure we would put on ourselves or others, the goal can not be attained at that time. This might sound upsetting but it has a silver lining. Situations and times that show us what we don’t have control over invites us to investigate where we do have control. And there’s always something. We can’t control the weather, the natural and man made disasters that strike out of the blue, the layouts in companies, the bankruptcies, the losses to unexpected illnesses but we can control our perception of things, our focus, we can try to learn the lessons these situations bring. Sometimes life happens for us because it invites us to stop and consider where we are going, how alive we really are in our lives, do we appreciate the things we already have and are. And sometimes it tries to move us away from what we’ve grown too accustomed to, even to our own detriment, to empower us to stand up for ourselves and to take up that space we shrunk away from. When things don’t go our way, let us introspect how we are not living in truth to ourselves, what layers need to be peeled off for us to embody ourselves more. Sometimes what is needed is to figure out what exactly we need at the moment of all hails, wildfires, earthquakes and tsunamis breaking loose and give that to ourselves in whatever way we’re capable of doing that in an unrest. At times it’s just an invitation to stop and be. To be in the unknown, in the chaos because something else is forming at that moment. Eventually the dust will settle. There will be a time for action, for reaching and creating big goals, for new and visionary ideas. Life goes in ebbs and flows so there is a time for some things and a time for others. It’s important to feel out when the right time is for you and your life. It might be different for each and every one of us or it might coincide but it’s important to feel your own rhythm of life and to dance to it.

Have an empowering week