Week 22. We Want What We Want

Even though this phrase can sound like an obvious thing for some people, I know from my surroundings and my own experience that it’s not always the case. There are people who are crystal clear about what they want, they go out into the world and get it. There are also people who from a young age, time and time again, were taught that they can’t get what they want so they stopped asking for things they wanted. Eventually they also stopped asking themselves the question about what they wanted a long time ago and now there’s no clarity on the matter either. Over the last few years I actively was working on getting back the clarity about what I wanted but only recently got a major life lesson on actually going and getting what I want. I was accustomed to accepting what came my way because of the false belief which was instilled in me that whatever comes is the best you can get so snatch it before it’s too late. This belief came from a lack mentality and needless to say did not do any good for me or the people who I witnessed practicing it. Recently I’ve had a situation where I had to face it and accept that we want what we want and even if we would bend our wishes or try to negotiate them into compromise, in the end we wouldn’t be happy with let’s say half-cooked steak (soy steak for my friends vegetarians). It means that we have to make better choices for ourselves, reviewing what is in our lives and probably letting all the things that are not what we want go. It also means not letting other things that are not quite what we want into our lives, being a bit more selective and finally saying: “Thank you, I’ve had enough of this experience in my life, now I’m open for the things I truly, actually want”. Sometimes deep down we already know what we truly want but we’re a little afraid to admit it, even to ourselves. Then we have to decide if we want to live hiding from ourselves, or in full transparency. No one else needs to know these things, just be honest with yourself. If it’s a stretch, just try to be honest with yourself for a week and see how it goes. No rush, baby steps.

It’s one thing when our wants are only known to us, we’re going about our business fulfilling them and they do not include other people. Quite another thing is when we want one thing and others want another. Doesn’t matter if it’s sushi vs pizza, watching comedies vs going for a walk in nature, extreme rock climbing date vs seashore picnic. We tend to feel uneasy when our and others wishes don’t align. But there’s no guilt or shame in that. If it doesn’t then it doesn’t, accept it and move on. There’s only one you and you get to live your unique life with your unique wishes. Please, don’t short change it for being with people you might not even want to be with only for the sake of having someone around. In my humble opinion, it’s much better to shine with who you truly are, with what you actually want and find your people that way. So we want what we want… and that’s great!

Have a week full of wholesome wants!